


To Build a Home

by burningcas



Category: Frontier (TV 2016)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Falling In Love, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I know this isn't going to get a lot of reads, I need another season yesterday, M/M, but here it is anyways bc I am Trash, for this show and just in general tbh, idk what this is ok I just have a lot of feelings for this show, there aren't enough fics about them it's almost criminal, this is written in 2nd person
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-21
Updated: 2017-05-21
Packaged: 2018-11-03 05:15:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,980
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10960458
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/burningcas/pseuds/burningcas
Summary: A deeper insight on what was going on beneath.





	To Build a Home

**Author's Note:**

> this is not beta read

**Michael**

 

_ —( _ _ Harp is a madman.) _

The first time you saw him, blood coated him like a second skin. He turned around and you saw what everyone on the outside saw; a savage beast of a man. All you could focus on was the glower that made you feel like you had just jumped into a freezing lake. You couldn’t tear your eyes away from his and it felt as if he could see the very pit of your soul through glowing green eyes. He stalked closer, quieter than you would’ve expected a man of his stature. You could feel the eyes of the rest of his people boring into you, like a pack of hungry wolves waiting for the command to kill. He easily towered over you and never in all your time of living on the streets of London have you ever felt so vulnerable.  _ So, this is who Declan Harp is, _ you thought to yourself,  _ A madman. _

You began to explain yourself. He asked what you were doing in the wilderness. You gave him your story and your blood ran cold when he gave you that humorless smile to your bullshit story. They began to take the priest away and you panicked. You would not let an innocent man be murdered. “I won’t let you kill him!”

The next thing you processed were large, cold hands sticky with the blood of a kill wrapping around your face and you could’ve sworn the devil himself had taken form right in front of you as Declan Harp. You were thrown to the ground but it felt more like the seal of your fate. “I have information on Lord Benton!” Looking back, you have no idea why you said it, but it was enough to get his attention. Even though he crouched down to your level you still felt so small and insignificant by him.  _ He’s a monster. _

_ ————————————————— _

_ —( _ _ What would you do if I wasn’t here?) _

For a reason that you wouldn’t have been able to explain, fear filled you at the very thought of it. You knew Declan was testing you. He was handling you surprisingly gentle, considering that he was technically teaching you how to kill a man. He watched you and only you, as if trying to silently communicate that, _he was there_ , and, _he wasn’t going anywhere._ And you believed him. Those green eyes that had once frozen you in fear was now almost a comforting sight. You wouldn’t realize it until many years had past, but that was one of the first time you had seen the real Declan, the one that was reserved for those he cared about.

_ Make him proud _ . You thought of what you would actually do if he wasn’t there and the next was instinctual. With the man laying in the snow, a bit of an unfounded sense of panic started to constrict around your ribs. “Oh God, did I kill him?” Even with Declan’s reassurance and praise, your mind was fuzzy and all you knew for certain was that you were freezing your bless’ed arse off. Declan killing the man didn’t bother you as much as you thought it would and you went to grab a coat.

_ ————————————————— _

_ —(You lie!) _

When you were shoved into that dark, dank room, your eyes immediately went to the man hanging in the middle of it. Your chest felt hollow when you recognized it as Declan. He was a mess. He was incoherent, he was screaming, he was crying. It was a part of Declan you had never seen before, and this side was the most terrifying. His own blood trailed down his back like wings. As you were pushed through the room and eventually tied up, you couldn’t take your eyes off of him. Eventually he stopped as consciousness left him.

You yourself were almost driven to tears. Declan Harp, one of the strongest men you had ever known, screaming and crying in hysterics. Your mouth was held agape, your eyes taking everything yet nothing at all. You called out his name in hopes that he would respond, that he would be there and make everything okay again. He always made everything okay again. Your voice echoed out to be greeted with silence. For the first time since you came off the boat you felt truly alone. 

_ ————————————————— _

_ —( _ _ Is Declan Harp really worth dying for?) _

You didn’t say it, but you immediately answered with  _ “Of course” _ in your head. You hadn’t realized it till it now, but you would wholeheartedly go to war against swarths of Benton’s men just to get to Declan. And you’d be damned if it didn’t scare the absolute shite out of you. Over the past couple of months, you had seen the real Declan. Not the one that was depicted in hushed rumors told between drunken frontiersmen. Not the one that was made out to be a man-slaughtering monster. You saw him for what he really was; a man. A man who felt deeply and made you feel cared for and protected, even though you were just a street rat that got into more trouble than he was worth.

Once, you had loved Clenna. You were going to have a life with her in London, where she would wear those dresses she liked and you’d both eat oranges. But things had changed. You both had changed. She had gone through unspeakable traumas and you had become a part of Declan’s pack. In your own ways, you both had become survivors. You knew that you would never go back to London, that your home was here ~~that your home was Declan~~ , and that Clenna was too damn stubborn to have her mind be changed. Both of you knew that this was where you had to say good-bye. The taste of her lips were the same as they were across the ocean when you leaned in and kissed her for the last time, and for a moment you thought that you were back in London, that you were a boy again.

You left her there, the two of you too numb to have your hearts broken. She had a dream and you had a purpose. And he was waiting to be saved.  

When Clenna asked you, you couldn’t have thought of a more stupid question. If you were to die for anyone, you would rest easy knowing that it was for Declan. And you knew that he would do the same for you.

  
  
  


**Declan**

 

_ —( _ _ Of course you can trust me.) _

Michael was difficult for you to read. You knew that he was smart (too smart for his own good). He knew what it took to survive, just maybe in a different way that you were used to. He had ties to Benton. He had every reason to betray you to save his girl. But you had to know. You fought with yourself against you getting attached to the lad just to have him be the one to stab you in the back. So when you stood over him as he lightly slept, a war waged in your mind. What would you do if you couldn’t put your faith in him? Could you bring yourself to do what you had to do? You saw his eyes open and look to you. They held fear for a split second before he realized it was you and was then replaced with what thought to be something akin to amenity. Though you wouldn’t let yourself to believe it. “Can I trust you?”

You crouched down to him and he leaned in closer. But it was nothing. Both of you just looked at each other for a few beats. The fire lit up the side of his face, making one of his big blue eyes illuminate against the stark shadows of the wilderness around him. He looked at you, as if trying to figure out if you were being serious. “Of course you can trust me.” He almost seemed offended at the notion that you would have to ask. And you believed him. You knew this entire time that you could trust him, but you had to put your mind at ease. Besides, he was a shit liar.

You stayed crouched, just taking in the features of his face. It was so easy for you to fall in love with Michael Smyth and it terrified you. One of your fatal flaws was that you cared too much for the people close to you, but he was different. When you looked at him saw all of the “what-ifs” and “could-bes”. You saw a life away from all of the bloodshed and death. You saw optimism and you saw a future. You saw home. But you never allowed yourself feel like that again for anyone else. You didn’t know if you could survive the love of your life being taken from you again. You didn’t allow yourself start over. But goddamn did he make it difficult.  

_ ————————————————— _

_ —( _ _ I chose to be here.) _

That was not what you expected to hear in return, and it seemed to surprise Michael himself. You looked over to him and glanced over at you. The response may not have been what you expected, but it didn’t surprise you. Michael always chose to be there. He chose you over Benton. He chose you over a life of safety and prosperity. He always chose to be there. You never made him do something that he didn’t want to do because you knew that he would be there. In your world of unpredictability and danger, he was a new constant in your life. It happened so fast that you didn’t notice it until he said the words himself.

You knew you could trust Michael. You knew he trusted you, probably more than he should have.

For so long you fought for revenge. You killed for retribution in the memory of your family. It blinded you and made you reckless. You were so driven to completely destroy Benton. Killing him wouldn’t have been enough. He needed to be eradicated. But then Michael came into the picture. At first, you didn’t think anything of him other than a way to get closer to Benton. Then he started to chip away at the mask you wore until he uncovered the real you, pieces of you you thought had long died. Maybe he made them come to life again. Slowly, but all at once, you weren’t fighting for your own selfish reasons anymore. You were fighting for a future for yourself and the family you had. You were fighting for those “what-ifs” and “could-bes”.

He chose to be there and you made a silent promise to him that you would do the same.

_ ————————————————— _

_ —( _ _ Kill the boy!) _

Those three words were enough to send a tremor down your spine. You turned your back to Benton without even thinking, the sight of knife to Michael’s neck being enough to throw the only weapon you had on you sailing into the man trying to harm Michael. You were delirious with fever and rage. You wanted Michael to be as far away from this situation as possible, far away from harm’s reach. You had no problem if they wanted to kill you, if they wanted to lock you back up and torture you till you were comatose. But they wanted to bring Michael into it. You would not let the person you love to be killed because of you. “Run!”

You watched, relief flooding your bones as Michael listened to you and fled into the forest. You thought that the last time that you would see him was then, and you would have taken that over seeing him dead anytime. Whatever Benton was going to do to didn’t seem so bad, now that you knew that Michael was gone and off to the safety along with Sokanon.

_ ————————————————— _

**Author's Note:**

> sorry it just kinda ends lol I didn't know what else to do, but I hope you enjoyed! ♥


End file.
